I’m about to take you on a little bit of a satirical ranting journey into the day to day life of being vegan. I can’t deny, I love being vegan (I do, I promise) but every now and again I find myself internally screaming *I HATE BEING A VEGAN* while pleasantly smiling and putting up with comments and questions that quite frankly, make me want to bash my head off of a wall.
I’m not talking about the lovely questions people that are genuinely curious ask, I’m talking about those sarcastic, rude and ignorant comments people make to try and get a rise out of you.
So naturally, I thought the internet, and inadvertently you now, should have to put up with those comments and questions…
*I promise none of these things are the fact that I have pay extra for non-dairy milk in my coffee at most places*
Having to tell people that I’m a vegan
Honestly having to tell people you’re a vegan is the worst thing when you’re not one of ‘those’ vegans. Believe me, if I didn’t have to tell you, I wouldn’t. The only reason I am telling you is because:
a) you’ve offered me a non-vegan snack of some sort and won’t take no for an answer (annoying by the way)
b) we’re going out for food, and I would like to eat something that’s maybe not a side salad or fries or
c) you’ve asked me if I’m a vegan.
That’s it. I would absolutely love it if I didn’t have to deal with the eye roll or the ‘oh’ in that tone… you know the tone… but unfortunately that’s what happens when I have to tell someone. I didn’t want to mention it, I had to because otherwise I would have had to eat something that I didn’t want to. Yes, I know there are some vegans that storm local co-ops or whatever to protest the dairy industry or use every opportunity to tell you and everyone around them that they’re a vegan for the animals *peace sign emoji* but, I’m not one of them, I promise.
I might share an article on facebook every now and again about living that vegan life, or some harsh realities about farming or the amount of puss and blood that’s legally allowed to be in your milk (gross, btw) but I’m not one of those people who forces it down peoples’ throats, and I kind of pride myself on that. Tbh, I mainly share stuff on my personal Facebook account to wind people up… oops.
When people get on the defense
If for one of the annoying reasons above I’ve had to tell you that I am in fact a vegan, I really cannot be bothered to deal with you going on the defense about why you eat meat or how it’s humane or whatever else.
I’m not trying to convince you to go vegan just because I’ve mentioned that I am (I honestly couldn’t care less what you eat). You live your life, you enjoy your burger and your beloved bacon (which no, I don’t miss by the way.)
I very much believe in ‘you do you’ mentality. If your lifestyle keeps you happy, healthy and you’re enjoying it then fab. That’s what life is for right?
That being said, if you’re telling me about a health condition/problem and I’ve read somewhere about how a dairy free life will help with some of the symptoms or whatever, you better believe I’m going to tell you about it. I’ll probably also tell you to watch What the Health on Netflix to get more information about it too… what can I say? I’m trying to be helpful okay?! *girl shrugging shoulders emoji*
Fighting the urge not to call people hypocrites when they are hounding you about plastic straws and the turtles
It’s really hard to listen to you going on and on…and on about the latest environmental trend or bandwagon you’ve hopped on when you are sitting with a McDonalds in front of you. The devil on my shoulder just sits there whispering into my ear like: “Tell them about how many rainforests we’ve cut down for beef farming and McDonalds in particular, I dare you”.
Don’t get me wrong, I am one of those people who goes by the philosophy of every little positive change is a good thing, but if you’re hounding me because the bar only had plastic straws, or I’m using up my last pack of non-biodegradable face wipes or my husband *occasionally* uses Head & Shoulders, just know that I’m screaming on the inside… J
Aka, don’t come at me for not recycling absolutely everything when your diet is one of the main reasons mother earth is going to shit. If I’m not preaching at you for your lifestyle choices, please, PLEASE, do not preach at me for mine.
I mean, each to their own, but what affect is your extreme activism having on the cause? (Hint, a negative one). There is nothing more annoying than a vegan that storms Greggs and shouts at people who are ordering their morning bacon roll or someone who throws fake blood over someone wearing a fur coat. I see what you’re doing, I feel your concern and understand what you’re saying but you’re making us all look bad okay?
When you share graphic and violent imagery on your social media accounts of animal abuse or slaughter without any warning, you’re even alienating other vegans, because to be quite frank, I don’t think anyone wants to see that when they open up Facebook for their morning scroll. I definitely don’t. I actually just unfollow people who share that stuff.
When you don’t listen to people with valid and very legitimate reasons for not being vegan, you’re silencing their issues and alienating people further. If someone is trying to explain to you the reasons why vegan life isn’t always accessible, and you’re dismissive or derogatory, they aren’t ever going to try to make any small positive changes to their lifestyle. You’re also going to piss off a lot of people. When I read a vegan going mad at someone because they don’t think they can afford a lifestyle, or they have allergies (like soya or nuts which are bloody both in everything vegan) it just frustrates me. And I’m already sympathetic to the vegan cause… so what kind of image is that giving out to a staunch meat eater who would take a lot of convincing to change their mind? Hint, it’s not good.
Don’t get me wrong, I totally respect that everyone has their own opinion, and their own way of doing things but militant behaviour tends to give a *normally* positive cause, a very negative image. So when I tell someone I’m living that vegan life, their response is immediately negative because of an image that has been created by a small minority of vegans.
*why the f*** are you preaching to me*
And finally, the worst thing in the world… the fact milk powder is in absolutely everything
Honestly, I have absolutely no idea why things like salt and vinegar Pringles needs milk powder in them?! Or pickled onion Monster Munch, WHY?! If you’re new to vegan life, or you’re catering for a vegan friend or family member, be prepared to be completely confused as to why milk powder is in basically everything ever made. If it’s in the allergen section and it’s milk free, then it’s probably got eggs in it, because you know eggs are essential if there is no milk in things…*eye roll*.
Thank you for sticking with me through this rant, I’m sorry for moaning, but I had to let it out…
If you’re thinking about making the change to vegan life, fancy making some small positive changes to your life, or you’re just curious as to see what the whole fuss is about, then you should definitely watch ‘What the Health’ on Netflix. It’s by far the best documentary on veganism that I’ve watched. Rather than seeing slaughterhouses, it talks about lots of other things that the meat industry and dairy industry has an effect on including random unexpected things like inflammation in the body, pollution and how poor communities are targeted.
For all of the vegan food I love and eat… go have a wee gander here.